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The one thousand dollar grape drive​-​by

from Under a thin veil of madness by Be Brave Bold Robot

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2) The one thousand dollar grape drive-by

I once met a guy, and he told me of his life, and how he makes a living. Among other things, he sometimes gets paid money in exchange for throwing grapes at people. He’s very accurate, and he knows what to hit to stain the shit, and where to throw to make bruises grow. A hit man who uses grapes in lieu of more violent weaponry.
This is an attempt at a theme song for him, uttered in his voice:

Hello Pretties, Can I spit a couple ditties
Just pretend y’all are kitties, let me rub up on your titties.
A drive-by costs about twenty fitties, and
I need to let you know that I use grapes because
They break in splattering motions
Soak into your skin like a fine wine lotion
And if that don’t work then I’ll use some potion
Made up of old cat hair
And as I leave the house I leave the good music playing
for the ghosts in case they care
What I mean is, I swear
to do it by natural means
no fake screams, no shaving creams
No forcing of bad ones to stare into a
Picture inside of a picture inside of a picture inside of a frame (we are a)
Picture inside of a picture inside of a picture inside of a frame

I align with odd forces, I eat late night meals
Sometimes, six courses....for my six divorces
I will grape-drop your volvos and shiny new porsches
Cuz I Hate excess like a horse is a horse is a
Picture inside of a picture inside of a picture inside of a frame (we are a)
Picture inside of a picture inside of a picture inside of my brain

Viticulture expert, Shining up his guns
With grapes, he’s always willing and wanting to get some

I can rain stains on almost anything
Pick a dude, his attitude, give me room, I’ll make it sting
The smaller the Vineyard the grapes come from, the wider the ring they leave
Lean back, snap off, they wizz, I sing
“Inebriated, so now I thank God”
(all the girls sing)
The Forces Surrounding Him are Odd!
Something here smells like poo
and to the same degree you think it may be me, I think it’s you
On your shoe....bugaboo
The breakbeat shrug of your shoulders
opens your top secret folders
and I see now that you’ve grown colder
A heartless soulless soldier, but you’re
certainly not as tough as you look.
They’re called natural laws, and No, you can’t buy the book,
but you can buy me some grapes and tell me what they took
And I will make them pay

Viticulture expert, Shining up his guns
No one here can touch him, he’s always on the run.

credits

from Under a thin veil of madness, released October 22, 2012

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Be Brave Bold Robot Sacramento

"BE BRAVE is the sort of band who make me reconsider throwing in the towel every time I listen to their inventive pop masterpiece ‘Take A Deep Breath’. There are few occasions when you hear a band for the first time and know implicitly that you are going to love everything that they do. This is one of those bands."
- daydreamgeneration.com

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